Two streams from Gigi Murin stuck with me. They changed how I think about living while I have the chance, ignoring opinions that do not matter, and recognizing who is genuinely there for me.
Since then, I have been posting constantly and caring less about what other people think. Who cares? I have such a short time on Earth. If I want to achieve something, why not go for it?
That does not mean every post is perfect or that every idea deserves to become a song. It means I would rather make the attempt than spend years wondering how it could have turned out. Every song, upload, and collaboration leaves a small record of where my head was at during that moment.
Life is so vast
I heard Gigi say this during one of her streams:
Life is so vast
And our lives are so short
I'm trying to make healthier habits
But I'm also trying to be more conscious of the fact that—
I literally have so much free will
So, that's one thing I'm trying to focus on this year
And if I want to do something
Then I can just do it
Then I'll just do it
You want to learn a skill? Okay
Then I should just do it
Mu-ha, ha-ha
The line that stayed with me was simple: life is so vast, and our lives are so short.
There are so many things I want to make, learn, and experience. It is easy to act like I need permission or the perfect moment before I start. I don't. I have more free will than I remember, and if I genuinely want to do something, sometimes the answer is just to do it.
That thought fits the way I make music. Nobody assigns me a song to create. Nobody is waiting to approve the title, the production, or whether an idea is worth finishing. I can open FL Studio, follow whatever feeling I have, and turn it into something that did not exist before.
That idea worked its way into Let Me Pour Out My Feelings for You This One Time.
Not everyone in the world is trying to help you
Another Gigi stream gave me a different idea:
Not everyone in the world is trying to help you
You need to decide for yourself:
Who's there to help you and who's there—
Who's out to get you
I just like being nice because
I don't know—
I think there's arguments where, like—
"Oh, so you only do those things 'cause it makes you feel good, isn't that selfish?"
But that's also, like—
It's way better than being mean to other people, mu-ha-ha-ha
This made me realize that not everyone in the world is trying to help you. Everyone is ultimately looking out for themselves. That does not mean I need to become cold or treat every person like an enemy. It means being nice and trusting somebody are two separate decisions.
Personally, I still try to uplift the people I work with, no matter how big or small their platform is. I know what it feels like to have an idea taken seriously, so I want my collaborators to feel like their contribution matters. At the same time, I have to pay attention to who returns that energy and who only appears when they need something.
I added her quote to my song, title track.
Why these ideas belong together
The two streams sound like they are about different things. One is about free will and acting before life passes. The other is about kindness, trust, and deciding who deserves to stay around you. To me, they are connected.
If my life is short, I have to be deliberate with it. That means making the music I actually want to make, but it also means choosing the right people to make it with. I do not want fear of judgment controlling what I release, and I do not want the wrong people controlling where my energy goes.
That is why both moments ended up around Au Revoir. The album holds a record of what I was thinking about at the time. These quotes helped me put some of those thoughts into words.
Life is vast. I want to leave proof that I was here for some of it. I want to leave a legacy. Nobody gets to stop me from chasing that.
— cav